Life through the bars

Do you ever just sit and watch life go by? Do you ever just go through the motions of the day, every day, and wonder "what the hell am I doing here?" I wonder sometimes if I had done things differently how my life would have turned out...different people...different experiences...different ends...but then I think not. I wouldn't give up having my children for the world. Maybe I would do things differently for them, but actually they turned out pretty darned good...with a few tweaks we're still working on!

I guess I wonder when I gave up "living" and only concentrated on making it through till tomorrow, and when I did, hooray for me let's do it one more time but forgot somehow while making it through, to take a little piece and set it aside for myself. I think I finally did when I bought my house because I LOVE my house and the peace it brings me and the fun we all have when we all get together here. I guess I'm afraid that I might end up like the crazy cat lady on the corner who scares children...which might not be all that bad, come to think about it! When did silence get painful? I need to find Picard's Flute solo and ease my nerves.

Damn what a day...is it only Tuesday??? Okay, I'm beginning to ramble now, I guess my mind is just tired and the craziness begins to creep in to mess with me. Too many things happening with no reason, too many questions and no answers, too much pain and not enough to stop it...too much to handle tonight. I guess I'll play again tomorrow, I won the game for another day. Hooray for me.

Sleep well my friends, it begins again tomorrow.
Me